Saturday I married my "one in million, once in a lifetime girl".
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| Photo by Scott Jones |
Erica is "a beautiful, caring, intelligent, and loving woman: the perfect bride."
I walk down the isle on a perfect September afternoon to await my bride to be. We are immersed in an outdoor setting and a venue that we could only have dreamt of, surrounded by friends and family. The Spokane River greets me as I stand shoulder to shoulder with a long time friend who has graciously agreed to be our wedding day officiant. I stand watching as the music plays and those who have agreed to stand up for us slowly find their way, following the same path I have taken. The music changes and those in attendance rise. The moment has arrived. It's time to greet the Bride.
Did I mention I was nervous?
Weddings are one of the happiest events that anybody can hope to experience in their lifetime and certainly ours was all of that and more. However, as the big day approaches, many brides and grooms can start to get anxious and we certainly felt this as well. This is often referred to as premarital jitters, and is a common occurrence for couples soon to be married as they begin to focus on all the little details involved when charged with a wedding.
As we prepared for our wedding, there were times when we felt we were handling everything. It became apparent that I needed to remember that we had a support system in place that was eager to help us in any way they could and this was a team effort for our special day. Boy, did our team step up and they made all the difference in the world. (I'm not going to name names because I know I would miss someone. If you know, you know. Thank you and we love you all.)
Our wedding weekend! The day I dreamt of and planned for was upon us. I felt excited, happy and deeply in love. I expected the wedding day to be full of emotion, and thought I was prepared for a wide range of emotions. But there were multiple times when emotions arose I did not expect or at least the timing of them.
Friday night some dear friends gave us a simple but very thoughtful gift. The gift contained some glassware and a hand written note. I quickly handed the note to Erica, knowing I couldn't read it. I was overcome with emotion. Run! Over! I had no idea how close to the surface my emotions were as the tradition of this particular glassware would reveal and although I knew I would be thinking of Rollie on my wedding day, this simple act placed him with me and I felt it.
As a professional portrait photographer I have been to literally thousands of weddings. As the photographer one of the traditions I always offer the bride and groom is a first look, which are always great. The tradition is for the groom to be placed where the bride enters from behind and as the bride approaches he turns to see her for the very first time. For us, this was set up in a court yard of our hotel. With the Groomsmen standing above on the deck of one of the rooms and the bridesmaids off in the distance, Erica ask me to turn. I turned and... water works. In my head I knew our a first look would be a nice gesture, but I could have never imagined it would turn out to be as emotional as it was. As one of the bridesmaids put it "I knew you would lose your sh!t." And I did!
High Emotions? We had prepared for this day for a long time and I wanted it to be all that we had planned for and it was all that and more. I was aware my emotions could be all over the place so I had a few words in my head that I thought I would lean on when I felt emotions start to well up inside. "Smile, Be Present, Breathe."
It didn't work.
The bride is staged inside the venue and out of sight of the guests.
Erica had chosen the classic music Canon in D - Cello & Piano.
As the music is coming up, "Smile", "Be Present", "Breathe". The emotions are welling up. At this point I haven't seen the bride and I'm on the verge of an ugly cry. In an effort to separate myself from emotion I begin to look up in the distance, an action not lost on the entire crowd. Todd also notices and gently says "You got this". Much needed calming words.
Todd's timing was impeccable. I center myself. Erica comes into sight, moves up the isle, I take her by the hand and I marry the women I love.
Looking back, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect day. Starting with my beautiful bride and moving out in every direction.
And to my beautiful bride: I'll wait for you and if I should fall behind, wait for me.
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| Photo by Greg Gallagher |
I don't believe I would have ever entertained the idea of blogging about our wedding. It just wasn't something that crossed my mind. The catalyst for this post came from multiple request to post my "speech" or thank yous. So I began to research the best way to do so. There isn't one.
When it came time for toasts, four were given. The Best Man led it out, followed by the Maid of Honor. Next my father stepped up and then the father of the bride closed things out. These four stepped up to the mic and spoke from the heart, without notes. Mine would be different. I knew there was absolutely no way I could stay on point without notes, or in this case reading it word for words. My one regret.
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| Photo by Greg Gallagher |
Traditionally the groom would lead out with a few very quick thank yous but that's not how it played out. I wanted the opportunity to say my thanks for all those who had gotten us to a place where we could stand and express our love in front of all those we hold dearest. So I went last and I went long. I said my thank yous and then turned to thank my bride. This is where I knew things would get dicy. I knew when I looked to her and began to speak it would be all I could do to get through it without breaking down. In my opinion, I made it through - for the most part.
The following is the requested text of my thank yous:
Erica and I would like to thank our entire family's, our grandparents, our parents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters. We would like to thank them for all the guidance and support they have given us through the years, if it weren’t for each one of them we wouldn’t be standing here, right here, right now, in this moment.
We have already heard from The Best Man, my brother Steve. Steve thank you so very much for your kind words. We love you! Jen, the Maid of Honor but more importantly Erica's sister and confidant. Thank you Jen. My Father. Thank you from both of us and the Father of the Bride. Thank you.
I would like to thank Erica’s parents, Bobbi and Brian. Thank you for raising such a beautiful daughter both inside and out. I still can’t believe that I found someone as kind, caring, intelligent, loving, and thoughtful and I promise to continue in my care of your daughter.
Pat, I’d like thank you for...everything. Not only did you excel in raising me, but all 4 of us and you stuck with us. I admit; in my teenage years, there were a few bumps in the road. But you hung in there, you stuck with me and you continued in your unwavering guidance with caring, understanding and love. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I love you, Mom.
Dad, thank you for always believing in me and pushing me to be the better person you always knew I could be. Throughout my entire life, you have always taught me never to settle—that I should strive for the things I wanted, for greatness. Well, today, I’m happy to tell you that I got what I wanted: a beautiful, caring, intelligent, and loving woman: the perfect bride. Thank you, Dad. I love you.
To Bailey Nelson, I can’t believe you made it. I mean, really, I don’t know why anyone would travel all the way from Jacksonville, Alabama just to be see a couple old farts get married. We love you. Thanks for being here for our special day.
To my sisters, I love you. Thank you for being you. And no matter how difficult my life gets, I know that I will always have you there... just waiting to say “I told you so.” Well, guess what? Today I married my beautiful bride so you two can no longer question my why not.
I would also like to thank Todd Martin for not only being our long time friend and supporter but for being the officiant of our wedding day. Thank you!
To Scott Jones, Thank you for coming all the way from Pittsburg to share in our day and for creating what we know will be images of a lifetime.
And to all of you, Erica and I would like to extend to each and every one of you a very heart felt thank you. Thank you for being here, for sharing in our day. There is only one time in a Bride and Grooms entire life together where all their friends and family are under the same roof at the same time. Your being here today has provided us with just such a gift. Your presence here today is an absolute gift. Thank you for making this happen. We love you all.
And now to my beautiful bride...
A young man’s wonder filled adventure began while sitting in a small brick schoolhouse classroom which overlooks an Eastern Washington Palouse roadway. This roadway almost alone brought small town America and beyond to the attention of this young man who would day dream as he looked to reduce the worlds complexities to shirt sleeve ideas that he could comprehend.
As he leans forward on one elbow across a wooden desk in that small classroom, he sits wondering in fact dreaming, dreaming of a girl. She doesn’t resemble any girl in particular except to the young man.
There is no way to encapsulate the image of this girl. In his mind she is magnificent. No movie, no television program, not even real life could equate what his imagination could conger up... Amazingly all those images in the mind of that young man looked a bit like you… And all of those images looked a bit like you.
Erica, I have loved you all my life. Even before I met you. Part of it wasn’t even you, part of it was just a promise of you. You have always kept that promise.
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A very wise person once told me that yes it is true. The reason why people get married is they do in fact meet, date, fall in love and one day get married. But what makes a marriage last a lifetime is periodically throughout time the couple will fall in love over and over again.
I realize we have faced our fair share of challenges as we continue to navigated our way through the years. And I know the term “luckiest man” gets thrown around a lot but I continue in my belief that I truly am the luckiest man, because that young man in the schoolhouse has been blessed with a lifetime of falling in love with you.
Will you dance with me?
