A Little Wedding Down By The Riverside.

Saturday I married my "one in million, once in a lifetime girl".

Photo by Scott Jones

Erica is "a beautiful, caring, intelligent, and loving woman: the perfect bride."  

I walk down the isle on a perfect September afternoon to await my bride to be. We are immersed in an outdoor setting and a venue that we could only have dreamt of, surrounded by friends and family. The Spokane River greets me as I stand shoulder to shoulder with a long time friend who has graciously agreed to be our wedding day officiant. I stand watching as the music plays and those who have agreed to stand up for us slowly find their way, following the same path I have taken. The music changes and those in attendance rise. The moment has arrived. It's time to greet the Bride.

Did I mention I was nervous?

Weddings are one of the happiest events that anybody can hope to experience in their lifetime and certainly ours was all of that and more. However, as the big day approaches, many brides and grooms can start to get anxious and we certainly felt this as well. This is often referred to as premarital jitters, and is a common occurrence for couples soon to be married as they begin to focus on all the little details involved when charged with a wedding.

As we prepared for our wedding, there were times when we felt we were handling everything. It became apparent that I needed to remember that we had a support system in place that was eager to help us in any way they could and this was a team effort for our special day. Boy, did our team step up and they made all the difference in the world. (I'm not going to name names because I know I would miss someone. If you know, you know. Thank you and we love you all.)

Our wedding weekend! The day I dreamt of and planned for was upon us. I felt excited, happy and deeply in love. I expected the wedding day to be full of emotion, and thought I was prepared for a wide range of emotions. But there were multiple times when emotions arose I did not expect or at least the timing of them.

Friday night some dear friends gave us a simple but very thoughtful gift. The gift contained some glassware and a hand written note. I quickly handed the note to Erica, knowing I couldn't read it. I was overcome with emotion. Run! Over! I had no idea how close to the surface my emotions were as the tradition of this particular glassware would reveal and although I knew I would be thinking of Rollie on my wedding day, this simple act placed him with me and I felt it.

As a professional portrait photographer I have been to literally thousands of weddings. As the photographer one of the traditions I always offer the bride and groom is a first look, which are always great. The tradition is for the groom to be placed where the bride enters from behind and as the bride approaches he turns to see her for the very first time. For us, this was set up in a court yard of our hotel. With the Groomsmen standing above on the deck of one of the rooms and the bridesmaids off in the distance, Erica ask me to turn. I turned and... water works. In my head I knew our a first look would be a nice gesture, but I could have never imagined it would turn out to be as emotional as it was. As one of the bridesmaids put it "I knew you would lose your sh!t." And I did!

High Emotions? We had prepared for this day for a long time and I wanted it to be all that we had planned for and it was all that and more. I was aware my emotions could be all over the place so I had a few words in my head that I thought I would lean on when I felt emotions start to well up inside. "Smile, Be Present, Breathe." 

It didn't work.

The bride is staged inside the venue and out of sight of the guests. 

Erica had chosen the classic music Canon in D - Cello & Piano.

As the music is coming up, "Smile", "Be Present", "Breathe". The emotions are welling up. At this point I haven't seen the bride and I'm on the verge of an ugly cry. In an effort to separate myself from emotion I begin to look up in the distance, an action not lost on the entire crowd. Todd also notices and gently says "You got this". Much needed calming words.  

Todd's timing was impeccable. I center myself. Erica comes into sight, moves up the isle, I take her by the hand and I marry the women I love.

Looking back, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect day. Starting with my beautiful bride and moving out in every direction. 

And to my beautiful bride: I'll wait for you and if I should fall behind, wait for me.

Photo by Greg Gallagher

I don't believe I would have ever entertained the idea of blogging about our wedding. It just wasn't something that crossed my mind. The catalyst for this post came from multiple request to post my "speech" or thank yous. So I began to research the best way to do so. There isn't one. 

When it came time for toasts, four were given. The Best Man led it out, followed by the Maid of Honor. Next my father stepped up and then the father of the bride closed things out. These four stepped up to the mic and spoke from the heart, without notes. Mine would be different. I knew there was absolutely no way I could stay on point without notes, or in this case reading it word for words. My one regret.

Photo by Greg Gallagher

Traditionally the groom would lead out with a few very quick thank yous but that's not how it played out. I wanted the opportunity to say my thanks for all those who had gotten us to a place where we could stand and express our love in front of all those we hold dearest. So I went last and I went long. I said my thank yous and then turned to thank my bride. This is where I knew things would get dicy. I knew when I looked to her and began to speak it would be all I could do to get through it without breaking down. In my opinion, I made it through -  for the most part.

The following is the requested text of my thank yous:

Erica and I would like to thank our entire family's, our grandparents, our parents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters. We would like to thank them for all the guidance and support they have given us through the years, if it weren’t for each one of them we wouldn’t be standing here, right here, right now, in this moment. 

We have already heard from The Best Man, my brother Steve. Steve thank you so very much for your kind words. We love you! Jen, the Maid of Honor but more importantly Erica's sister and confidant. Thank you Jen. My Father. Thank you from both of us and the Father of the Bride. Thank you. 

I would like to thank Erica’s parents, Bobbi and Brian. Thank you for raising such a beautiful daughter both inside and out. I still can’t believe that I found someone as kind, caring, intelligent, loving, and thoughtful and I promise to continue in my care of your daughter.

Pat, I’d like thank you for...everything. Not only did you excel in raising me, but all 4 of us and you stuck with us. I admit; in my teenage years, there were a few bumps in the road. But you hung in there, you stuck with me and you continued in your unwavering guidance with caring, understanding and love. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I love you, Mom.

Dad, thank you for always believing in me and pushing me to be the better person you always knew I could be. Throughout my entire life, you have always taught me never to settle—that I should strive for the things I wanted, for greatness. Well, today, I’m happy to tell you that I got what I wanted: a beautiful, caring, intelligent, and loving woman: the perfect bride. Thank you, Dad. I love you.

To Bailey Nelson, I can’t believe you made it. I mean, really, I don’t know why anyone would travel all the way from Jacksonville, Alabama just to be see a couple old farts get married. We love you. Thanks for being here for our special day.

To my sisters, I love you. Thank you for being you. And no matter how difficult my life gets, I know that I will always have you there... just waiting to say “I told you so.” Well, guess what? Today I married my beautiful bride so you two can no longer question my why not.

I would also like to thank Todd Martin for not only being our long time friend and supporter but for being the officiant of our wedding day. Thank you! 

To Scott Jones, Thank you for coming all the way from Pittsburg to share in our day and for creating what we know will be images of a lifetime. 

And to all of you, Erica and I would like to extend to each and every one of you a very heart felt thank you. Thank you for being here, for sharing in our day. There is only one time in a Bride and Grooms entire life together where all their friends and family are under the same roof at the same time. Your being here today has provided us with just such a gift. Your presence here today is an absolute gift. Thank you for making this happen. We love you all.

And now to my beautiful bride...

A young man’s wonder filled adventure began while sitting in a small brick schoolhouse classroom which overlooks an Eastern Washington Palouse roadway. This roadway almost alone brought small town America and beyond to the attention of this young man who would day dream as he looked to reduce the worlds complexities to shirt sleeve ideas that he could comprehend. 

As he leans forward on one elbow across a wooden desk in that small classroom, he sits wondering in fact dreaming, dreaming of a girl. She doesn’t resemble any girl in particular except to the young man.

There is no way to encapsulate the image of this girl. In his mind she is magnificent. No movie, no television program, not even real life could equate what his imagination could conger up... Amazingly all those images in the mind of that young man looked a bit like you… And all of those images looked a bit like you.

Erica, I have loved you all my life. Even before I met you. Part of it wasn’t even you, part of it was just a promise of you. You have always kept that promise.

-

A very wise person once told me that yes it is true. The reason why people get married is they do in fact meet, date, fall in love and one day get married. But what makes a marriage last a lifetime is periodically throughout time the couple will fall in love over and over again.

I realize we have faced our fair share of challenges as we continue to navigated our way through the years. And I know the term “luckiest man” gets thrown around a lot but I continue in my belief that I truly am the luckiest man, because that young man in the schoolhouse has been blessed with a lifetime of falling in love with you.

Will you dance with me?

News Flash - 2020 Sucked!

I have always contended that I keep a blog mostly for myself. I let those who are willing take a peek if they so desire but I guess what this thing, this blog represents is a diary of my athletic approaches, and this diary is open to the public.

Wow! What a stinker! Flatten the curve. Social distance. Wash your hands. Wear a mask. Stay away from friends and family. In my case, don't see your parents. Cancer. Cancer care. A postponed wedding. You work in retail, whoops. And so on. And so on. And so on...

The afore mention list is a very rough outline of what my 2020 looked like. But there were additional things missing as well, one of them being racing and the motivation to train when there is no finish line. The finish line for me being the toeing of a start line.

This morning as I sit here, a local blend coffee in hand, Kai at my feet, it's cloudy, damp, 37 degrees and as with a fair amount of January mornings, there is a light fog around the area of the Spokane River and across Riverside State Park. Not exactly a morning calling me to hit the trails on the old mountain bike or to get Kai out on those very same trails for a light jog as she chases down the local squirrels and chipmunks, me with a constant eye out for one of the many deer who have taken up residence in the safety of the park. For it is these deer that can give Kai "a run for her money" as I'm not in any kind of shape for an early season interval workout and sprint across the park while screaming and cursing at the dog. With apologies to any parents with small children within ear shot of course. But anyway...

I should get out today. There is so much to be thankful for. No snow so a light ride through the park will do me all kinds of good. There is no such thing as bad weather just bad clothing. Hey, look on the bright side. It's all about perspective.There are many out there who would love to be in my situation, who would love to just be able to go for a light spin. Feel the wind in their face and soak in the beauty of a park that is literally a stones throw from my front door. A stones throw on a good day that is. My shoulder is old and a bit tired.

So 2021 is here. Happy New Year! But for me at least, the new year is not some strange Line of Demarcation, some sort of finish line if you will, it's just that, a new year. And for me it is a time to reflect, a time to celebrate wins, and a time to learn.

As mentioned, I keep this blog thingy as a diary for use in reflection. This morning I came across part of an entry from 2016 that reminded me not only of some of what I had lost in the calendar year of 2020 but it reminded me of the good that is out there as well. It is, it's still there, the good in people, the passion we hold, the desire to be better even if the measuring stick is some silly little race we like to call Ironman. 

The outtake from that July, 2016 post is as follow:

After all these years and all these races, why do I continue to sign up?

For this, I drift back to Ironman CDA 2003 and 2004 while standing on Sherman Avenue in Coeur d' Alene Idaho. I expected to see ripped, superhuman athletes pushing themselves further than any average person could ever conceive of doing, which I did.

But I also saw so much more.

I saw average people; Butchers, Bakers and Candlestick Makers, young and old, thick and thin, all accomplishing something they might have never before dreamed of. I saw athletes cheering on athletes. Bystanders cheering on total strangers, sometimes running along with an athlete they didn’t even know because he or she looked like they needed some extra support. I saw a racer, her husband walking with her, children in tow. She was bawling her eyes out because as she stated "I just can't do it and I'm letting us all down." I watched as her husband walked with her, encouraged her and gave her a gentle push only because he knew something in that moment she could no longer see. I took note of her race number so I could later check the results. She did finish - for all of them. I saw all that is good in people playing out on that one day in that one race.

Standing alone in a sea of people that had gathered on Sherman Avenue, I watch, I got chills and I cried.

Maybe it was the bigness of the Ironman, the almost-insurmountability of doing it while trying to maintain a job, or a family, or any semblance of a life. Maybe it was the dedication, not only of the athletes, but of their friends and families. The dedication evident in the signs they hold and the pride in their eyes as they recount endless stories about getting their athlete and their entire team to the start line. Proud of the fact that they were out there on the day too, as part of a team who picked up the groceries or cleaned the house or did any one of a thousand things throughout the year so their athlete could get a six hour ride or two hour run or both. Maybe it was all of this combined that had gotten them to this exact moment.

Whatever it was, it stayed with me and the next year I found myself again standing on Sherman avenue at 11:55 PM. The last hour of any Ironman always moves me. Again, I got goosebumps. Again, I cried.

Well fingers crossed, vaccine in tow, I hope we can gather again this year. I pray I am once again standing alone on Sherman Avenue in a sea of people. A crowd of people who have come to watch as dreams come true. I also look forward to getting back to a start line, back to what for me will be an old friend but with a newness. New goals, a new excitement and new PRs as I feel as though I have retired the old. 

Photo By Kelli Dahmen

So here's to old passion anew, gathering in what I would call some sort of normality and of course a trip down the aisle with my beautiful bride. That is if she will still have me, some days can be a bit touch and go. And yes, I plan to cry, not because she won't have me but because she will.